Ok so it's now pretty official that I am a complete nerd for sitting in cafes and watching the world walk by.
Initially I'd just order a coffee and take a seat near the window to observe people. It started to feel a bit odd in a "look at the weirdo" sort of way so I've recently taken to reading a book (or iPad) and ordering food.
The town where I live is chock full of coffee shops and small daytime restaurants.
I love it here. Work is just 2 minutes drive away and parking is pretty straight forward so I get the chance to try a few places.
Today it's sunny. According to the numbers in my car it's around 18c. Consequently the town is full of people. At the time of tapping this on my iPad it's also lunch time. The coffee shops are filling up. Five minutes ago I stepped in to a largely empty restaurant. It's now full.
As I sit and wait for my Mushroom, Hazelnut and Parmesan salad to arrive I take a look around. I'd brought an M R James story or two to read but to hell with that. There's lots of interesting looking people in here and I'm a nosey sod.
The married couple to my left suddenley spring in to life. They've been sat here for about as long as I have and I was beginning to wonder if they were mute.
Husband pipes up about their holiday home in Canada. Something about a roof. Wife insists it needs looking at. I'm instantly bored.
Opposite a beautifully angelic newborn baby (she must be days old) is fast asleep in her buggy. Mum and Dad sit eating pizza, clearly glad for the respite. I'm guessing angel baby will wake hungry soon and they've timed it perfectly between feeds. I remember it well.
The judgemental so-and-so in me has taken a swift look at the parents and assumed that baby is called Daisy or Rose Petal or something like.
Beauty is tall, striking and quite elegant. A young Nikki Taylor (left), complete with the teeth and big smile. Her friend isn't, although I'd argue that her friend is dressed better.
I couldn't care less what they're talking about as they march in but it seems like beauty has had "a mare" with the office network all morning. Dear God. I hope you're more fun than that.
Salad arrives! Huzzah. In fact it's almost gone.
The group of young ladies to my right are eating each others pizza. Seems like quite a fun game for them. I personally get quite hostile at the suggestion of sharing food. "JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD!" for the Friends geeks :)
An older lady comes in and takes a freshly vacated seat by the window. She farts. I almost choke. Did nobody hear that? Jesus. I feel a duty to laugh and highlight it but she doesn't seem to care. My God I'm nearly 44 and still laughing at farts. There's no cure for it.
I'm definitely coming here again.